Welp, here's how I got to where I am today.
I started out as a regular nard. Skinny as a kid, up until puberty struck. Here I am at around age 8. My dad and paternal grandmother were both overweight. Good Swedish/Danish stock. Healthy tall people. My mom and maternal grandmother were both slim. My mom was slim all through her young adult years, and didn't start to gain until after I was born.

Up until the age of 12 or so, when the puberty fairy struck, I was still doing pretty good. Right around then is when all the hormones hit, and self-doubt started to settle in.
There's something that happens to young women (and some young men) when puberty strikes. The self-confidence goes right out the window.. you start to feel really bad about yourself... I think BDD even hit me (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). I thought I was the fattest thing walking the earth. Having a parent that was diet obsessed herself, did not help. Between the ages of 12 and 13 I gained 20 lbs. I had found solace in food. The cafeteria had a window they would sell all manner of cakey goodness in the mornings. I used to hoard my city bus money and spend it on Hostess snacks instead! Those damnned Hostess Snack items are EVIL. I think I topped out around 120. At 5'2" or so it wasn't out of hand, but it started to show in my lower body, kids called me thunder thighs cause when I knelt and leaned back on my heels, they really widened out. My stepmother freaked and put me on a diet. 1 season of running track and not being allowed to eat much dropped me down to 103 or so. I remember weighing myself every day in the locker rooms and the day I hit 103 I went home and proudly announced this to my stepmom. She was unimpressed. From there on out it only got worse.

Freshman year was just fine, no weight issues then, stayed at a healthy range.. when I got to my sophomore year however, there were a lot of issues at home, and the weight had started creeping on over the summer. I ate like a ravenous beast that summer...and my stepmom wasn't around to keep me in check. I remember my dad taking me to the mall to shop for back to school clothes. I bought one pair of Esprit size 7 jeans, thinking I would fit into them sometime soon, then moved on to Lane Bryant. My first experience with them was at the age of 15 and I'm still shopping there, but I swear, NOT FOR LONG!

Around Junior year, something happened, I'm not sure what... but I lost weight. I think it was a crush.. I had a huge crush on this one guy... and the weight started coming off again. I got down to around 150 or so. I was feeling pretty good. All my friends took notice and even some of the "popular" kids. The boi I had a crush on did talk to me a lot that year.... I still thought I was big as a house... I look back at those pictures and wish I could have seen myself with the eyes I have now....

Once more I went up, up, up... graduated just over 200 lbs. I was miserable of course and my misery made me eat. After a few months I moved out of my dad's house and in with a roomate. Let me tell you, there's nothing better for the big girl than a place of her own and a limited income!!! I lost a bunch of weight working 2-3 jobs at a time (one of them being a bar and grill) and eating healthy or more accurately, not eating at all... Also, my car wasn't the greatest runner at the time, and I ended up riding my bike to and from work a LOT. After a few months, I caught my husband Keith's eye and we started dating. It was lovely. He did admit to me after a couple of months that if I hadn't lost the weight he wouldn't have been interested. That was a crushing blow at the time... The irony is, he fell in love with me, and I got fat again!!!

I fluctuated a few times, up down, up down... and about 5 years ago I began what was to be my final climb... up to over 300 lbs. I am definitely an "emotional eater". I had been in therapy off and on, and even on psyche drugs a couple of times in the hopes of getting it under control, to no avail. I had tried the Protien Diet, Weight Watchers, The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet, Dr. Dean Ornish's, damn near everything under the sun. Nothing worked. Keith proposed to me and it was about 3 years before we actually got married. Part of my reason for waiting so long was I didn't want to be a "fat bride". I eventually just gave up on ever losing weight and we got married! After marriage I tried my last diet.. Optifast. I lost 50 lbs in 3 months or so, but I about lost my mind. Liquid diets are truly evil. I kept it off for about 5 months after I quit, and then over the holidays it all came back, and then some. I was done, completely done. I was near suicidal for months. I mean, how silly is it to be suicidal over being fat? Over something I could supposedly change? But there it was....

Then... Carnie Wilson hit the airwaves... I saw news stories about her upcoming surgery, I became interested/fascinated/horrified. I was amazed that she was making such a drastic decision, horrified over the thought of rearranging her insides in such a manner to lose weight... Then I started reading up. Spotlight Health has everything she went through.. from her decision making process, to the surgery itself and her recovery. I suggested it to Keith, and he was skeptical at best, scared silly at worst. I went to a seminar that Carnie's doctor hosted in the Bay Area and learned more. We read up on the pro's, con's and risks. Keith was finally comfortable that most of my risks were no larger than someone going in to have their appendix removed and I decided I wanted to do it. I saw the seminar in September of 2000, changed insurance plans at work in January of 2001, applied January 2nd 2001. It took 5 weeks before the Alvarado Center for Surgical Weightloss nurses called me back for a screening, but it was only 2 weeks after that that I had insurance approval. Three weeks after that I had a surgery date! The nurses at Alvarado told me that I was one of the lucky ones. Right after I applied, Carnie went on one of her biggest publicity junkets, hitting TV talkshows, People Magazine... the works. Right after her appearances they were FLOODED with applications. Anyway... April 11th 2001 I went under the knife and my rebirth began!